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What is it about the power of impatience that drives us to “rush” all the time?

It’s so easy to get impatient when things don’t go your way. When you don’t get the answer you want. When you are not being heard, acknowledged, seen or appreciated. Or when a process we have started slows down due to lack of input from others.

This creates frustration and we become impatient. It is also a sign of lack of faith. We don’t trust ourselves, others and the universe to deliver what we ant in time. Being Impatient is all about fear. Fear of things not moving fast enough according to the timetable we have laid out in our minds.

And fear has a low vibration – a low frequency.

Many people want to constantly control the processes they initiate like reaching a certain goal. Why the need for constant control?

The need for control leading to impatience stems for fear. Fear of nothing getting things done in a certain time frame. The fear of letting go of having the overview.

You can see this in the work-place. Bosses who are controlling their employees on the micro-level.

A boss is not a leader because a leader guides people without controlling them. A leader delegates responsibility and is confident that the employee can perform the tasks he / she has been assigned to.

A boss, however, must alway be in control because he/she does not trust the process to go the way they want when its left to other – when others are involved. They need to micro-manage every step of the process.


People who need to control things are afraid that their goals will not be met if they don’t watch every step of the process.

At one of my previous jobs, I witness first hand how incredible controlling certain bosses can be. This was not my manager, but the boss of a colleague of mine. He became so frustrated over his boss that he quit his job. His female boss drove him crazy.

She had an extreme need for micro-managing him. It became completely impossible for my colleague to work with such a boss hanging over his shoulder much of the time.

Since then I have met some controlling people in other settings and I must admit I have been a controlling person myself. I let fear run my life – fear of missing out – of not having control – of not reaching my goals if other people were involved in the process.

However, once I understood what fear really is, it was easier to let go. It was easier to trust that things would play out. My way into the spiritual arena has really helped me see the bigger picture.


What really surprises me is when people who call themselves spiritual, and should understand how fear operates, still get seduced by impatience and fear.

Recently, I had an experience with someone I know and it really revealed her true character because her control-needs kicked in big-time. She was seduced by her fear.

As I starting digging into what had happened I could clearly see that her fear made her take a certain call of action that was totally unnecessary. She wanted to control a certain situation and she let her ego and impatience run her actions.

It obviously did not matter to her that her actions revealed her strong ego and would lead to reactions in her relationships with others involved.

Once you get caught in the power net  of impatience, it is easy to just keep on forcing your control needs on others. Ultimately, it’s really about having a big ego.

Take a look at this frequency model:


Fear is on one end of the scale and love on the other.

Emotions such as restlessness, worry, impatience, fear, anxiety, anger, resistance, control, guilt, etc. come from fear.

On the other hand, emotions such as hope, joy, passion, understanding, care, tolerance, etc. come from love.

As shown, the ego is very strong at the fear end of the scale, and then it fades more and more the higher up the love-end of the scale you reach. The ego wants to be in charge. The ego want to call the shots. The ego doesn´t trust others. The ego is worried and needs to be on top of things whatever the price may be.

When we are in fear were letting our ego rule. And then we often make rash decisions. We respond impulsively to what people say. And we send out emails without really letting the content sink in first. And then we wonder why we get the answers we get.

Why I have I used the colors red, yellow and green in the picture above?


This idea came to me as an idea one day I was taking a walk in nature thinking about how I can become a better communicator of this type of information. I saw a traffic-light in my mind.

The traffic-light is a universal thing. Everyone knows that the color red is stop, yellow / orange is “get ready” and green is get going.

Red is at the fear-end of the scale. If you have a strong ego, you are driven by fear and you will not progress as a human being. Yes you can reach your goals, but at what cost? and at the expense of who and what?

As you begin to let go of your ego, you increase your frequency and change your mindset. You make progress. It´s like when the traffic light switches to yellow and you are just about to get going. You’re in the getting ready state.

Green is go, go ,go. It´s the flow of life. Progression. Progress. At this level the ego must give way for the heart. You enter into a heart-focused energy and at that level you don’t want to succeed at the expense of others.

Being impatience is the fear of missing out on something. That’s why controlling people need force things to happen. Well, they try to force things to happen because they want to control the flow, but it seldom works.

People push and push for results because they really lack faith in themselves others. They can´t let things unfold in their own time, in tcase something goes bad. Like what?

Well, this is different from person to person since each of us is impatient for different reasons. Many people believe that if they lose control and fail to reach the goal they have set, it will lead to some negative consequence which then justify their controlling needs.



Let’s say you are going to build a dog-house in your yard and you have all the materials, tools and knowledge to this on your own. You don’t need the input for anyone else. You are in complete control.

You set yourself a goal to finish the dog-house in a week. Nothing can stop you. Nothing can stop the process. TOTAL CONTROL.






Yes, it can be liberating to be self-reliant when it comes to working towards a certain goal. I can fully appreciate that. You have the pleasure of adjusting the tempo exactly as you want and you can make changes and alterations along the way. You are in charge and have complete control.

But let’s say you’re going to sell your house. You have found another better house in another location and you want to move in as soon as possible. As such you want to sell your current house as quickly as possible.







Most people use a realtor when selling their house. If you also live in a housing-community, you probably need to obtain relevant information from the community about common expenses, rules, etc. which must be included in the sales contract.

So what happens next?
Suddenly you’re no longer in complete control. Suddenly you are dependent on others to deliver information in order for the process to move along in the pace you have set yourself.

And if you feel that the process somehow slows down due to slow delivery you can easily be dragged into the clutches of impatience.
Then the need for control arises.

You must speed up the process. You must force the process to move along faster so you impose your control-needs on the people you need input from in order to please your ego.

In this process it+s easy to loose track of just being a nice human being. The ego rules and things get messy.

It’s all about “me and my process”. I am most important ”. There is little or no understanding of other people’s agenda and process.

People like this don´t understand that this typeof attitude only slows down the process. What you choose to give your focus and energy to persists. In another words – what you resist persists. I wrote another blogpost about this some time ago-. You can read it here: What You Resist – Persist






It’s like swimming upstream – as the salmon does. It’s tiring. There is resistance, but still the need for control continues.

With intensity and willpower you push on. The goal must be reached. And yes, in the end, the salmon manage to reach his goal just as an impatient, controlling person also can reach their goal, but at what cost?

What really happened on your way to reaching the goal? Who did you “step on”? Who were you rude to? What did your ego do in order to get things on track?

If you reach your goal at the expense of others does it really taste that good? When you look back on the whole process do you feel proud of controlling and pushing other people just so you could reach your goal just the woman I mentioned earlier in the post did?

Her ego was huge and she just pushed on with no thoughts what so ever about hurting people in the process. Her goal was more important than other people feelings. Ego. Ego. Ego.

There are plenty of people in the world who have created success for themselves at the expense of others. What makes them do that?

I belive the answer is a very strong ego. A selfish attitude. No heart.

I find it interesting that when we are children we are very much the opposite. We are all heart. We live in the present moment. We want to explore and have fun. We just want to play and not really hurt anyone.

There are no hidden agenda focusing on me, me, me. It may seem that the heart just fades away as we grow up because the ego takes over – just as illustrated in the image below.








So what is a better solution?

Its all about LETTING GO and trusting the process – that things will work out. It’s about surrendering yourself and trusting something greater than yourself.

If you have started the process and you give people confidence it will often resolve. Everything really comes down to your energy, frequency and vibration.

You really control the process by the way you think and feel. Thoughts and feelings set up your personal frequency which is either positive (high) or negative (low).

If you are a person who is impatient and in need of control, your frequency is negative (low) and it will give you resistance. If it is positive (high), the process will flow by itself as a river flows easily and effortlessly down a mountain side.

If you let go, you join the river’s flow (The Flow of Life). Things go your way and it may seem like luck and chance, but it really comes from your way of thinking and feeling. Your Energy. Your Vibration. Your Frequency.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished” – Lao Tsu

If you want to know more about how your energy, frequency and vibration influence the way your life unfolds check out the Universal Laws. Free video here:


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